Have you ever thought about getting legally married before your wedding day? It’s not something that a lot of people think about, but it’s easy enough to pull off and it can have a lot of added benefits. Whether you have a special date that you want to get married on (that may not coincide with your actual wedding day) or would benefit from one of the other reasons below, it’s an interesting topic to think about to see if it’s the right fit for you.
Before we get into it, we wanted to clarify that Haley and Asheton did not get married before their wedding day. But, we always love to show off their day and you would never know if they did get legally married beforehand, so we’re taking advantage of the opportunity. Now, let’s get into the fun stuff.
It allows you to truly customize your day.
Want to have cocktail hour first, then walk with all of your guests to the ceremony? You can do that. Want to hang out with your groom all day long before you walk down the aisle? Go for it. Want to change up your ceremony entirely and not exchange vows? That works too. Getting legally married before your wedding day allows you to customize it in any way you want without any restrictions on what has to be included for it to be legally recognized. You can plan and design your day to be a complete and total reflection of who you are as a couple without feeling like you need to follow a typical wedding day outline.
It lets you focus on the intimacy of your vows.
If you get married before your wedding day, the vows you share will be done on a much smaller scale, often with just a couple of people instead of hundreds. There’s no timeline. There’s no pressure to get to portraits and no first dance to think about. There aren’t hundreds of people staring at you. It’s all about the commitment you are making to one another and relishing that moment. You can get married before your big day and still share vows in the traditional ceremony, but if there are things that you’d love to say to one another when committing your life to each other that you may not want to say in front of a bunch of other people, this is a great option. If this point in particular appeals to you but you don’t love the idea of saying I Do before your actual wedding day, check out what one of our previous couples did to make their moment just between the two of them.
It takes the pressure off of the “big day.”
Without a doubt, a lot of people feel stress and anxiety surrounding their wedding day. Often times that stress comes from people putting pressure on themselves for it to be the perfect day, which can then lead to being disappointed by unmet expectations. In reality, almost no wedding day goes off without a hitch. We personally think that’s a good thing (check out what we mean here), but thinking about something going wrong on your wedding day can be hard to wrap your head around. So, if you’re stressing about all of the wedding day what-ifs, getting married before your day may be a way to calm down a bit and just focus on the celebration when it comes to your wedding day.
It gives you the opportunity to choose any date.
Whether you had to post-pone your wedding day and want to keep your original date or you have a date that’s important to you that didn’t work for the actual wedding day for whatever reason, getting married before your wedding day is a fun way to make that date important. You can choose which anniversary to celebrate – or celebrate both! – and in some ways you get two weddings, which as far as we’re concerned means double the joy.
It means anyone can officiate your ceremony.
Of all of the reasons, this one is probably one of our favorites. While anyone can get ordained to officiate your ceremony, it’s sometimes something people don’t want to ask of someone and it can put a lot of pressure on someone to do things properly. If you’re already legally married, though, it gives you and your officiant full flexibility to write a ceremony however you want. Nothing has to be included or said in a certain way. There are no worries that it was legit. You can tell stories, share any type of vows, get introduced however you want, and truly make the ceremony all about your love for one another.
Finally, it gets you married earlier!
We will never deny the fact that we love weddings and we are in no way advocating for you to not have your big day. But, at the end of the day, the marriage is what matters. There are so many personal reasons people want to be married quicker than the time it takes to plan the wedding day that they are dreaming of – and that’s okay! And, for some, they’re just straight up excited to be married and start their life together. We always say that we were built on a foundation of love, so there’s no way we could create a list like this and not include the one point that completely and totally revolves around you starting your foundation and cementing your love.
As much as we like to emphasize that your wedding day is for you and that you should do what you want, not necessarily what society expects you to do, we know that the idea of getting legally married before your wedding day can seem super different. If you’re worried about sharing the idea with others for any reason, keep in mind that it can be your little secret. No matter what you choose though, remember that your day is your day, and regardless of what happens, what goes wrong, what goes right, or what people think, it will be a special day because it’s all about the two of you.