Landan here! When I started writing blogs for The Chandelier, I told my now-husband that I wanted to be 100% open and honest about our wedding planning experience, while also pulling from the weddings we’ve been a part of. We were lucky enough to be one of the first of our friends to get married, too, so now we get to go through it with them as more and more of our friends pop the question. That’s where this blog idea stemmed from. And, since we’re on the topic of wedding planning, I threw in some gorgeousssss photos from The Houlton’s wedding, because if the photos are any proof, they planned a dang good one.
When wedding planning, I think we often fall into the trap of thinking that our wedding timelines are supposed to look like everyone’s wedding timeline. Or, at the very least, into the trap that they make the most sense and go with them for that reason. Tried and tested.
You’re supposed to get ready, leave some time for photos, have the ceremony, take photos during cocktail hour, head to the reception, the list goes on and on. The traditional wedding timeline tells you when to do your first dances, when to cut the cake, heck, even what traditions you are “supposed” to do at a wedding. And while we may mix them up here or there – like having a first dance as soon as you walk in – or eliminate some things, for the vast majority of weddings I’m invited to I know what to expect. And the funny thing is, most other people do too.
I was pretty passionate about trying to mix up certain things in our timeline when wedding planning. I thought a lot about flow and what was important to us, always considered which photos I wanted to put a priority on, and truly tried to customize our day to be unique to who we were. It still resembled a traditional wedding, and most people wouldn’t notice the differences I spent hours agonizing over, yet at the end of the night the one thing that was called out was someone panicking that we forgot to do the bouquet toss. We didn’t forget.
See what I mean about people knowing what to expect?
So, in between thinking we have to stick to a traditional timeline and people just “knowing” what a wedding day consists of, we fall into thinking that we have to plan our weddings in the same fashion.
Sure, we may have something here or there that we think “I really want this” and make the time to add it in, but overall we question is it worth it? Can we do that? Will people think it’s weird? And most of all, how do we do that?
It wasn’t until months after our wedding that I realized how much pressure brides feel to plan a wedding that feels like the other weddings they’ve attended. I don’t actually know if it’s an overt pressure or just something that we think that we know, but it definitely exists. So, from one bride to another, I’m here to tell you to do what you want. Add something that’s important to you. Take out what doesn’t feel right. Make the day yours. Both big and small, if there’s something you’re thinking that you would enjoy for your wedding day, put in the work to make it happen and go for it.
I was scrolling through Instagram a few weeks ago and came across a photographer who said “if you’re excited about it, make the time for it.”
What. A. Concept.
If you haven’t planned or are in the middle of planning and haven’t come across this yet, I’m putting it here again: If you’re excited about it, make the time for it.
I know it seems so simple, but in the big picture of wedding planning it can get lost. There are SO MANY thing that go into the day and the entire day goes by so incredibly fast. Realistically, you can’t include everything. But you can make time for the things